


Not The Only

by kittenofcastiels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Break-up sex, Castiel the cutie pie, Cheating, F/M, Heartbreak, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Castiel not knowing he's jealous, Making Love, Regret, Relationship Will Change, Revenge, Sex, Slight Dom reader, Smut, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5160365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofcastiels/pseuds/kittenofcastiels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader and Dean had been together for a few years. Until she finds the truth about Dean’s solo hunts. Based on ‘I’m Not The Only One’ by Sam Smith</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Not The Only One

**Author's Note:**

> **\- Song -**   
>  _\- Flashback -_

Wiping another tear from her cheek Y/N closed her suitcase. She could feel her hands shaking and her breaths coming out heavily as she tried to stop the imagines in her head from replaying. She took a deep breath once again, trying to calm a little, even if that seemed impossible at that moment, she knew she needed to stay calm, unless until she could leave the bunker, until she could feel safe and far away from Dean as possible.  
  
Dean was her boyfriend, he had been for four years… it was a great relationship at first, the laugh, the stolen kisses, the flirting, It wasn’t easy, she wasn’t expecting it to be, but it was full of love and respect and she knew that no matter what, he was going to be by her side. Or so she thought.

> ****_You and me, we made a vow_  
>  For better or for worse  
>  I can’t believe you let me down  
>  But the proof’s in the way it hurts  

It was always hard for her to be with someone before Dean, being a hunter and seeing how a wendigo killed her parents made her close herself from the word, she didn’t know how to trust, she didn’t know how to love without the fear of lost, but when Dean it was different. He made her trust him, he made her feel safe, he made sure that she believed in his love and he gave him a home, a real home. And for years she thought everything was fine, she thought that at the end she was going to have a happy ending. But she was wrong.

> ****_For months on end I’ve had my doubts_  
>  Denying every tear  
>  I wish this would be over now  
>  But I know that I still need you here  

She had her doubts but she never did anything about them. She felt worried every time Dean would leave for a solo hunt, arguing that they were simple salt and burns, it usually only took him a day to be back, and everything went back to normal.   
  
But lately the hunts became more than three each month, and when he came back he was different towards her, a little colder, a little… guilty? She didn’t know for sure, but she knew something what happening and she needed to know what.

She knew it was another woman, she knew that she wasn’t only a friend, but she looked the other was and never said anything, she keep denying it to herself. Until it became unbearable, until she couldn’t deny the tears, until she couldn’t stop crying for hours after he left.

> ****_You say I’m crazy_  
>  ‘Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done  
>  But when you call me baby  
>  I know I’m not the only one  

One day she decided to ask him, of course she didn’t go and say 'Hey, so… are you cheating?’ so she sat with him on the couch, more like she sat on the coffee table and he sat on the couch but anyways. She started talking with him like they usually did and then, like it was just a regular thing she asked about his hunts, what kind of monsters he hunted or where they were. And there was when she finally knew for sure that everything was a lie. 

_“They are just simple hunts, Y/N" he chucked, nervously “I never take you because there’s no need to bother you”_  
  
“But…” you started but couldn’t finish   
  
“Don’t worry baby” he got up without looking at her “nothing would happen”

So the last time he had a solo hunt she decided to follow him, it was a good thing that Sam taught her how to be almost invisible while following someone, she got in her car and got on the road a minute after Dean did, she kept her distance from him and tried to keep her lights off. She prayed for him to go to a hunted place or something other than a suspicious place. Her prayers weren’t answered.  
  
_She followed Dean towards a road she knew really well. Feeling her heart pounding against her chest harder than she had ever felt before. She saw how he got off of baby and walked towards a petite blonde standing next to a lexus. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and kissed him like she was a long time girlfriend and they hadn’t seen each other for a long time._  
  
Y/N felt her word shattered into pieces, she felt the tears running from her eyes and felt how her chest moved faster.  
  
She didn’t know hot she made it back to the bunker, everything was a blur. She only remembered the sound of the tires against the ground as she drove at full speed, she remembers the sound of her loud sobs and curse words as she went back.  
  
She remembers leaving the door of her car open as she made her way towards her and Dean’s room, she remembers falling on the floor as soon as the door was closed. She remember crying some more before falling asleep.

_She woke up next morning, her head was pounding and her eyes felt swollen. She remember everything from last night but refused to cry even more, instead she started packing._

“Hey” she heard from the door, snapping out of her thoughts “Y/N?” she looked at Dean, standing at the door and looking directly at the suitcase on top of their bed.  
  
She refused to talk to him, so instead she tossed her last shirt and closed the suitcase.  
  
“Where are you going?” Dean asked, trying to get closer to her  
  
“Leaving” she said before taking her things and leaving the room, leaving a confused Dean behind, not for long though  
She left the bunker and walked towards her car, cursing herself when she saw the open door  
  
“Y/N!” she heard Dean yelling behind her but she didn’t answer, she tossed the suitcase in the trunk and closed it with too much force. “Y/N” Dean said as he stood in front of her  
  
“For how long?” she asked, not looking at him  
  
“How long what?” he asked  
  
“How long have you been cheating on me?” she hissed  
  
“I don’t know…”  
  
“Don’t fucking lie!” she yelled, making him cringe “I saw you, I saw her. So if you have a little decency in your filthy self you are going to answer me” she couldn’t stop the tears anymore, she let them free “How. Long”  
  
“A few months” he whispered, looking at the floor “It started the day you got hurt from the werewolf hunt…” he started but she didn’t want to listen, she started walking towards her car. “I was so mad that I left and went to a bar… then I met a women and… she made me feel like the old Dean”  
  
“Stop” she opened the driver’s door, but Dean didn’t stop  
  
“She made me feel the rush of being young and free, I promised myself not to do it again… but after a while it became and addiction, the sneaking around, the trill of being caught… I finished it last night”  
  
“I don’t care” she whispered, it didn’t matter that he had finished, it mattered that he started  
  
“I realized how much I truly love you… how much it killed me to look at you after everything I had done”  
  
“So now what?” she yelled again “you expect me to fall back into your arms and say that everything is fine because you fucking ended it?”  
  
“Y/N…” he whispered, trying to grab her hand but she didn’t let him “I know it was wrong… but please, baby-”  
  
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” she screamed “it was wrong… it was fucking wrong but you know what else it was?” he shook his head “unforgivable”  
  
“Y/N…” he sobbed, she knew he was crying but she didn’t want to see it. She knew that it would hurt her. “Please… I’ll give you time”  
  
“Time” she repeated “Yeah… give me time” she looked at her with so much hope that it almost made her regret her following words “I think forever would be enough”  
  
“Y/N…”  
  
“Go fuck yourself, Dean” she said before getting in her car, closing the door before Dean could react.  
  
He kept hitting the door, hoping for her to open it and say that she changed her mine, but she didn’t. She just started the car and started driving. Not looking back at the man she thought was the love of her life. Not looking back to see how he was on his knees, how the tears ran through his cheeks.  
  
She just kept driving, promising herself that she would never go back.


	2. Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Y/N left him Dean started acting reckless, so Sam drags her back to the bunker to talk to him, smut happens

Dean sighed angrily as he placed his bag on the table, he was sick and tired of his brother constantly complaining about his recklessness on hunts lately.  
  
“Dean…” he heard from the door and rolled his eyes “this needs to stop” Sam shook his head, walking until he was standing right in front of his older brother “you almost died out there, if it wasn’t for Cas….”  
  
“Stop it!” Dean shook his head “just stop worrying about me, Sam. I’ll be fine”  
  
“If this is about Y/N…”  
  
“Don’t even mention her!” Dean barked “you know what, yes, it is because of her. I hurt her, I hurt her more than the cuts and the bullets hurt me” he started walking towards his room   
  
“Is this some kind of retribution?” Sam yelled, following close behind “you hurt her now you let everybody hurt you?”   
  
“Fuck off, Sam”   
  
“No” the younger brother grabbed Dean’s arm and turned him to face him “you need to stop, what you did to her… it was wrong, I know” he sighed “but the cuts, and the bruises won’t bring her back, and in the end nothing of this would make you feel less guilty”   
  
“Fuck off, Sam” Dean repeated before turning around again and walking towards his room, this time Sam didn’t stop him.

Sighing as he sat on his bed, Dean rested his head on his hands, taking a deep breath before wiping the tears that spilled from his eyes. It had been four month since Y/N left the bunker, four full months of him crying his pathetic self to sleep every night, not that he would tel Sam that though. It was funny how after everything he had done, all the people that died and it was his fault, all the monsters he indirectly set free, he never regret something more than he regretted betraying Y/N’s trust.  
  
It costed him everything; the love of his life, the little happiness he still had and a big part of his sanity. He never understood why he kept doing it, the girl he kept seeing wasn’t half as pretty as Y/N, she wasn’t as warm and she didn’t know him like Y/N did, the girl didn’t know every single thing that made him shiver, every spot in his body that made him moan with a single touch of Y/N’s fingers, the girl wasn’t anything like the love of his life, but still… he kept meeting her.

He kept getting drunk on the adrenaline, on the thrill that pumped through his veins every time he snicked out and lied.   
  
But when he sobered up, that’s when he realized all the wrong he was doing, he realized the look on Y/N’s face every time he left, and he couldn’t stand it.   
  
The night before Y/N left he went to meet the other girl, it took him a couple of hours and a lot of tears from her but he ended their affair, then he spent the night on the hotel, alone, trying to think on a way to make it up to Y/N, but when he came back to the bunker it was already to late.   
  
Dean cursed himself for the millionth time in four months and headed to the shower, trying to find a little not-deserved peace.

“Go away, Sam” Dean groaned as he heard the knock on the door.  
  
He was kind of surprised that Sam went to look for him three hours after their little talk  
  
“Dean…” he quickly stood up from the bed, almost tripping when the sheets tangled around his legs, as he heard the whisper from the other side of the door, it was the voice he would never forget, the voice that four months ago was saying goodbye.  
  
“Y/N…” he whispered as he opened the door, voice breaking as he saw those beautiful eyes of hers once again   
  
“Can…  can I?…” she nodded towards the room making him nod his head desperately as soon as he understood what he wanted.   
  
He quickly moved from the door to give her more space, closing the door after she was fully inside, standing by the door they once shared, looking at the room like it was the first time she was in it.   
  
“What are you doing here?” Dean asked after a few minutes of silence   
  
“Sam…” she looked at him briefly before taking his gaze away from him “listen Dean, this needs to stop” she looked at him but her eyes weren’t the same anymore, they were cold and emotionless   
  
“What?” he asked confused and hurt by the look on her eyes   
  
“You… getting hurt on purpose, Sam and Cas are worried, so worried that they thought they needed to track me down and drag me back here to make you snap out of it” she sighed the last part, rubbing her temples.

“Y/N…” he whispered, trying to reach for her hand, reaching to touch her, but she didn’t allow him that, she just backed away from him “what I did to you…”  
  
“What you did to me” she started feeling the tears trying to escape from her eyes “it hurt… it broke me, Dean” he winced as the words left her mouth “it made me feel… worthless”  
  
“No” he shook his head “you are not worthless, you are everything but that, Y/N” he needed to make understand it, to make her see that she was perfect  
  
“But I wasn’t good enough to keep you interested…” she shook her head, raising her hand to stop him from responding “it was my fault, really” she laughed bitterly “I seriously believed in you, Dean. I believed that my love for you was enough, that your love for me was enough… but it wasn’t”

“Y/N… baby, please don’t say that” he shook his head, not bothering on wiping the tears “what I did, that was me, that was my mistake, my stupidity” he grabbed her hand and this time she allowed him to hold it “you are perfect, Y/N. Everything about you is perfect and I know I don’t deserve your love, but I want it, I want you, I can’t keep living without you, y/n” he looked down before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath waiting for her response  
  
Dean was taken aback when he felt her free hand cupping the side of his face, lifting it so her lips could connect to hers.

Dean didn’t know what to think, he didn’t even know if he was awake or if it was just dream but it didn’t matter, not when Y/N’s lips molded so deliciously against his, not when he was being able to taste her for the first time in what it felt like centuries for him. He just kiss her, cupping her neck with both hands to not let her break the kiss.  
  
“Dean…” she sighed, breaking the kiss when the air left her lungs. He looked at him and backed away a few steps, making him panic. But relief washed over his body when he saw her taking her jacket off, dropping it carelessly on the floor, then proceeded to do the same with her shirt, leaving her black bra covered breasts in full display for him  
  
Dean didn’t waste time, taking his own shirt and sweatpants as fast as he could, just wanted to have her on his arms before she could change her mind

He looked up as he kicked his bottoms and gasped at the sight of her in front of him, just in underwear, her eyes following every single one of his moves, like she was trying to memorize his body.  
  
“On the bed” she said with a firm voice making him open his eyes even more, she wasn’t really dominant in bed, but if she wanted to take control, Dean wasn’t going to complain  
  
He obeyed, laying on the middle of the bed and waiting for her to join him. He moaned as he felt her soft hands massaging the skin of his legs, stopping in his thighs were she left a soft squeeze. She lowered her head, leaving wet kisses along his stomach and chest, until she was hovering him completely, each knee pressed on the bed at each side of his waist, her pantie-covered center rubbing against his painfully hard cock making him moan.  
  
Y/N groaned before locking their lips together, this time the kiss was more rough, with his hands pulling her hair to tilt her head, with her tongue exploring every inch of his mouth, his teeth sinking in her lower lip. Pulling it just as hard as he knew she liked it. 

“Don’t move” she broke the kiss and pinned his wrist in the bed, he didn’t know how to react at first but after a few seconds he gave in, letting he do as she pleased with him.  
  
Reaching at her left side, Y/N took on of the condoms out of the nightstand. She crawled down, until she knelt between his legs, she pulled his boxers down, making him hiss as the cold air hit his hardened cock, then moan when her hand started pumping it slowly, his hips jolted upwards, desperate to get more friction but her hand abruptly left his cock.  
  
“Please” he whined  
  
“Told you not to move” she shrugged before ripping the silver square with her teeth. She then rolled it on his length, slowing covering every inch of him, making him ache with need. He watched as she removed her panties, trying to balance herself in one leg at the time to pull it off completely. She crawled back to her previous position, straddling his waist once again. He wanted to touch her, his hands itched with need to roam her body, but he didn’t move them, scared that if he did, he would stop. 

Y/N lifted herself, grabbing his cock and positioning it against her soaked entrance, making both of them moan as she slowly sank on him, taking inch by inch slowly, until he was completely inside of her  
  
“Let…"he moaned out "let me touch you”  
  
She leaned down and grabbed one of his hands, placing it on her hip, letting him roam the soft skin of his stomach before he moved it upwards towards her covered book, massaging her nipple over the thin material of her bra

“Fuck” she moaned as she started to move up and down on him “so good” she whispered as she rested her hands on Dean’s chest and bounced harder, making him moan out loud as her tight pussy hugged him tightly.  
  
“Y/N” he moaned  
  
She groaned as she listened to her name being called on his husky voice, she took his wrists again, pinning them at each side of his head as she kept fucking herself on him hard and fast.  
  
“Say my name again” she demanded, voluntarily clenching around him to bring him closer to his breaking point  
  
“Y/N” he moaned, louder this time as he felt his orgasm approaching  
  
“Who do you belong to, Dean” she asked, throwing her head back as the tip of his cock hit her g-spot perfectly with every thrust  
  
“You” he groaned “you, I’m yours” he promised, he swore to himself, no one will ever have him again, no one but Y/N, he was hers, forever.  
  
“Good boy” she moaned, taking one of his hands and pulling it towards were their bodies connected  
  
He got the hint and his thumb quickly started rubbing her clit, wanting nothing more than make her cum before him  
  
“Shit” he moaned as he felt her clench around him, a scream erupting from her mouth as she let herself go for him, igniting his own orgasm as he felt her pounding even harder, “Y/N” he growled as he emptied himself into the condom.

She fell beside him, panting harshly. Closing her eyes as she tried to regain her breath. Dean removed the condom and threw it into the trash can, laying beside her as soon as he finished. He wanted to talk, to ask her how thing were between them, if she was going to move back with him, but as soon as he turned his head he saw her with her eyes closed, her breaths deep and slow and soft songs leaving her mouth, he decided that the conversation could wait, right now he just wanted to hold his girl in his arms, she wasn’t going anywhere.

-

The first thing Dean noticed in the morning wasn’t the light coming the sound coming from outside, or the sore feeling on his wrists. The first thing Dean noticed in the morning was that the woman he held in his sleep was gone.  
  
He tried no to panic, thinking about all the places in the bunker she could have been, maybe she was in the kitchen or maybe she was taking a shower, she was probably still there, but he couldn’t shake the thought of her leaving him again so he stood up from the bed and grabbed some boxers and sweats, putting them on before looking for her inside the bathroom. But she wasn’t there.  
  
He took a deep breath and decided to look for her in the kitchen but when he was about to leave his room he saw something he didn’t see when he woke up, a white piece of paper placed on top of his clock in the nightstand. Taking a shaky breath he grabbed it, preparing himself to read it’s content.

_Dean_  
  
I want you to remember what I said last night, hurting yourself is not a solution.  
I want you to remember what you said last night, who you belong to.  
I want you to remember all the beautiful times with spent together, but I also want you to remember the great pain you caused me.  
I want you to  **remember me**.  
Because baby, the only place you’ll ever have me again, is your memory.

_\- Y/N_

A big sob left Dean’s mouth as he scrunched the note in his hand, tears spilling from his eyes as he fell to his knees cursing himself for falling asleep the night before. He should have stayed awake, he would have talked to her, begged for her to give him another chance, but now it was to late… she was gone, for good. 

 


	3. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader had left Dean for good, realizing that there was not going back to him, and maybe there was certain angel right beside her just waiting for a chance to be with her, whether he realized it or not. 
> 
> **My summaries suck.**

Soap and foam covered her hands as Y/N rubbed the soap bar between them, the hot water hitting her already rosy skin as she keeps rubbing herself to ‘clean’ her skin. She kept rubbing the bar along her neck, stomach and legs, trying desperately to erase the memories from a few hours before.

Trying to forget begin zapped out of her apartment by a troubled looking Castiel, trying to forget the look in Sam’s face as he begged her to talk to his brother. But most importantly; trying to forget Dean.

She didn’t remember why she kissed him, maybe his words were too painful and the only way to shut him up was with a kiss, or at least that’s what she kept repeating on her head. But in reality she wanted to show him, she wanted to let him see what he threw away, she wanted to claim him just like he had done all those nights they had spent together in the past. She wanted him to admit he was hers.

But the moment he wrapped himself around her after they were done, the moment he repeated those sweet words he always used she realized the great mistake she had made. Because there, on his arms, she found herself consumed by the sadness, the sadness of knowing that she didn’t belong in those arms, of knowing that the man beside her wasn’t the one she fell in love with.

And on that moment she realized that there was no going back to him, she couldn’t  _forgive and forget_  what he had done, how he made her feel. So she left the bed as soon as he fell asleep, quickly leaving him a note to let him know that it was over, feeling the tears running down her eyes as she dressed herself quietly. Not looking at Sam’s face as she asked Castiel to take her back to her home.

So now she found herself on her shower, the water set on high temperature as she cleaned herself from his scent, finally crying her little broken heart out. Realizing that all the rage had left her body, leaving her with an immense sadness instead.  

-

Six months later…

“Sam” Castiel called as soon as he appeared on the bunker’s library

“Jesus” he younger hunter exclaimed as he almost let the book hi was reading drop “when am I going to get used to this?” he muttered to himself as he sat straight to greet the angel of the lord standing at the other side of the table.

“I apologize if I startle you” the angel gave him a somehow apologetic smile

“It’s fine… do you need anything?”

“Yes…” the blue-eyed man looked around “where’s Dean?”

“Out” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers “went to a bar… you know how it is, won’t be back until tomorrow… I hope”

“Good” the angel breathed out before sitting on the chair in front of him “I need your help”

“… Okay”

“Remember a few months ago when Dean was acting strange and putting himself in danger…” the hazel eyed hunter grunted in response “well… I need you to do the same… for Y/N”

“Is she okay?” Sam almost jumped, ready to aid Y/N if she was in any danger

“She’s… not taking it so well” the angel tilted his head trying to find the right words to explain the situation. “She’s fine, safety-wise. She has been on a few minor hunts; they went well I made sure of that. But she’s being acting so different from herself”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s been… drinking a lot, and having… sex, with an alarming number of partners, I know that is not unusual but for Y/N…”

“Oh… Wow” Sam muttered, not believing what Castiel had said. He remembered Y/N being shy and reserved, he knew she wasn’t a prude or anything, she was with Dean after all, but being with different guys… it didn’t sound like the Y/N he knew “How do you know all of this?” he gave the angel a narrowed glare

Sam could have sworn Castiel blushed a little bit before answering his question, not really looking him in the eye.

“I’ve been worried about her… She is my friend and after I left her on her apartment… she didn’t look good. So I kept going back there a few times a week, and there’s when I saw her”

“So… you want me to do an intervention or something?”

“I want you to go with me and talk to her, she lost a lot when she left Sam, she lost a home, and the only two friends she had at the moment. It’s not her fault” the angel exclaimed defensibly, making Sam look at him with shock written all over his face

“O-okay. Let’s go”

- 

Y/N sighed as she parked her car in front of the little apartment she owned, the hunt had been easy but tiring, the demon gave her some pretty good punches before being killed and the only thing she wanted was a hot shower, some alcohol and her bed.

All her plans were thrown out the window when she entered her apartment though, as she heard voices coming from the living room; she tensed, taking the angel blade from her boot, ready to attract.  

But as soon as she entered the room she stopped, rolling her eyes and placing the blade inside of her boot again. Looking at the two big men sitting on her really tiny couch and discussing something on a hushed tone. She rolled her eyes before clearing her throat loudly, making them jump a little before looking at her with wide eyes.

“What’s going on?” she asked, but didn’t give the time to respond before speaking again “What are you doing here? How did you got in… you know what that’s a stupid question” she shook her head before looking at Sam and smiling a little “Hey Sammy”

Sam got up from the couch and walked the two steps towards her before wrapping his big arms around her and pressing her tightly against his chest, realizing how much he had missed her in those months he had not been able to see her.

“Can’t… Breathe!” she gasped out, feeling her lungs struggling to get air in

“Sorry” the tall man said before letting her go, a big smile on his beautiful face, showing that dimple she missed so much

“It’s okay” she smiled before turning to look at the angel, still awkwardly sitting on the couch “What about you?” she asked before walking around the coffee table to stand in front of him, she tugged his hand to ‘help’ him stand up and her arms were quickly wrapped around his waist, making him smile before slowly wrapping his arms around her as well

“Hey” she whispered against his shirt

“Hello Y/N” he smiled, making her remember about the first time they meet

_“What do you mean with ‘An angel saved me’?” she asked looking at Dean and Sam like they had grown another head_

_“That’s what happened… we’ve been working with him for a few weeks, didn’t want you to meet him until we knew it was safe” Dean explained, taking a big gulp of his beer before shrugging “just if you want to meet him, though”_

_“He’s a freaking angel! Of course I want to meet him” she looked at him like he was crazy, making him smile a little_

_Dean closed his eyes to awkwardly start praying for the angel put as soon as his name left his lips, Castiel was beside Y/N, making her jump and let out a little yelp_

_“Apologies” the blue eyed man nodded his head towards her, apologetically. His bright blue eyes fixed intensely on her duller ones_

_“It’s okay” she smiled before looking at the brothers with wide eyes “you are the angel that saved Dean, right?” she asked just to make sure this wasn’t a joke or something_

_“Yes” was the only thing that Castiel could say before Y/N wrapped her arms around him, taking him by surprise and leaving him with no idea of what to do_

_“Castiel…” Dean started, laughing at the angel’s expression “this is Y/N”_

_“Hello Y/N” he muttered_

A loud cough made them break the embrace to look at a really uncomfortable Sam, standing across the room

“Sorry” Y/N mumbled before getting some distance from the angel and her “so…” she rubbed the back of her neck before looking at Sam “not to be rude or anything… but, what are you doing here?”

“Castiel here…” Sam started, nodding towards the angel “is worried about you”

Y/N looked at the man on the trench coat with her brows furrowed

“Worried about what?” she tilted her head to the side, with the confused expression the angel wore all the time

“He said that you aren’t taking it so well… the break up and all” the younger Winchester started making her look at him again “he said you’ve been drinking a lot… and” he took a deep breath before finish his sentence “having a lot of casual sex” he said quickly, trying to get it all out and not repeat it again

Y/N looking at him wide-eyes, blinking a few times and letting her brain process everything. Maybe she started drinking way more than she used to when she was with them, and maybe the first month after her last encounter with Dean she wasn’t in a really good state, both physically and mentally, but she got better, she learnt to forgive him, not enough to go back to him but enough to stop hating him, she started realizing that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t worthless like she thought, she healed.  Castiel had nothing to be worried about, especially…

“I’ve slept with two guys since I left the bunker six months ago” she blurted out before she could stop herself, feeling the heat on her cheeks after “I mean… yeah” she cleared her throat “I don’t know what he said or saw, but I have not been fucking around”

Sam looked at Castiel with wide eyes, feeling embarrassed of his accusations when what the angel had said was a lie

“What the fuck Cas!” he exclaimed “you told me she was a mess, you told me she had being with, and I quote, ‘an alarming number of partners’ and now here I am, making a fool of myself because what you said wasn’t true”

“You said that?” Y/N asked looking at the now blushing angel, he nodded slowly, looking everywhere but her “why?”

“You were drinking too much, Y/N” the angel started now looking at her with a pained expression “you didn’t drink before, and when I came to see you a few weeks ago you had a man here, and then I came back again and there was a different one” he looked down “I thought it was a regular thing, and I didn’t come back again, not to your house at least… but I knew this wasn’t like you and…” he took a deep breath “I didn’t like it, to think you were with some guy… it was bad enough to see you with Dean”

The room got quiet for a few minutes, letting Y/N understand Castiel’s words she was about to say something but Sam seemed to react quicker than her.

“So you brought me here because you’re jealous?” he accused, all the anger leaving his face, being replaced by… amusement? There were so many emotions on his face that Y/N had a hard time keeping up with them “that’s why you got some distance when she and Dean started dating?” realization was written all over his face, and then he looked like he was remembering something.

_Sam and Cas were worried the second they saw Dean on the ground outside the bunker, they were coming home from a long hunt and the last thing they expect was that, especially when they saw him shaking and loud sobs left his mouth_

_“Dean?” the younger hunter whispered, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder “what are you doing here?” he looked around “did something happen?”_

_“She left” his brother grunted, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands_

_“Who?”_

_“Y/N” Dean exclaimed, standing from the ground “she left, Sam! She found out and left! She didn’t let me explain, she didn’t let me make it up to her. She left!” by the end of the sentence he was yelling, using his hands to do sings that Sam didn’t understand_

_“She found out what?” he asked, not having an idea of what his brother was talking about._

_But Castiel was a different story, he didn’t know, of course he didn’t, but it wasn’t hard for him to take a look on Dean’s mind to know what was he talking about, an inexplicable anger boiled his blood as soon as he read Dean’s thoughts_

_“How could you be so stupid?!” the angel exclaimed, making the brothers look at him with wide eyes “how could you do that to her? Is that a human thing? To have everything and then throw it away?” he asked shaking his head and before Dean could say anything Castiel was gone_

“You were in love with her” Sam blurted out after a few seconds, making Y/N look at him and then at Castiel “you are in love with her”

“This was a bad idea” Castiel said, avoiding her eyes and taking a hold of Sam’s arm

“Wait…” Y/N said but it was too late, they were gone. Leaving her confused and feeling… hopeful?   _Man, I only wanted to sleep,_ she thought  _guess I am having none of that tonight_

_-_

Y/N signed for what it felt like the 100th time on the night, using her hand to wipe the fogged mirror and look at herself. She picked the comb from the sink and ran it throw her head to detangle her wet hair, her mind however kept repeating Sam’s words over and over again.  _Is Castiel really in love with me?_ She kept asking herself, but shaking her head after a few minutes, realizing how ridiculous it was for her to think about an angel of the Lord being interested in anybody.

She wrapped herself with a towel before leaving the bathroom and walk through the little hall towards her bedroom, she opened the door and was about the remove the towel when she looked up to the bed, she froze instantly when he was Castiel sitting on his bed, momentarily looking at the floor but as soon as he heard her gasp he looked up, his intense gaze meeting hers.

“Y/N” he said after a few minutes of silence “I came here to apologize” he added before she could say anything “my actions were wrong and Sam also said that I could have offended you by my accusations , also I have no right to be ‘jealous’ as Sam said an-“

“Were you, though?” she asked, not letting him finish “were you jealous?” she asked again as she closed the door behind her.

“I… I suppose I was” Castiel looked down again “I had never felt anything like that before; I was not familiarized with the feeling, I felt anger every time Dean took you into his arms, I felt… envy, because he was able to kiss you or hug you and I wasn't”

“Castiel…” she started, walking closer towards him, it only took her three long steps to be in front of him

“I didn’t understand, Y/N…” he shook his head before looking up at you “I still don’t understand how he could do something so stupid, he had the most beautiful creature all for himself and yet he managed to ruin it”

Y/N felt tears forming on her eyes, her heart was beating faster with each word that left his mouth and an inexplicable wave of happiness washed over her body, she had never felt so beautiful than under Castiel’s gaze. No one had ever made her feel so special or wanted

She couldn’t find the right words to express her feelings, she knew that she would start crying the moment she’d let a few words out. So she decided that it was better if she just showed him how she felt.

She cupped his face with both hands, caressing his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs, smiling sweetly at him before lowering herself until her lips were an inch apart from his, letting him decide if he really wanted her or not.

Castiel froze for a few seconds, but when he understood what was happening he quickly acted, pressing his lips to hers and molding them slowly together, trying to savor the feeling of her plump, soft lips against his slight chap ones. Y/N smiled against his lips before removing her hands from his face, opting for wrapping them around his neck as she moved to straddle his hips.

“Too much?” she asked against his lips as he grunted

“Not enough” he answered before tilting his head to kiss her deeply, his hands resting on her hips as he brought her closer to his body, soft moans leaving her mouth when his tongue teased her bottom lip

Y/N opened her mouth, letting him taste her minty breath as his tongue danced with hers, she let herself lose on the kiss, only enjoying the feeling of her hot mouth against hers and his hands roaming the sides of her body.

Castiel moaned as she rocked herself forward, rubbing his erection with his naked core, he broke the kiss, letting her catch her breath as his lips explored the soft skin of her neck, kissing and nipping his way towards the center of her chest. He grabbed the hem of the towel and looked at her like he was asking for permission.

Y/N nodded, biting her bottom lips as she watched him remove the towel from her naked body, smiling when she heard him mutter the word  _‘perfect’_  under his breath as his eyes roamed her naked form, from her neck to her breasts, then he let his gaze linger for a minute on her erected nipples before looking at her stomach and lastly her core pressed against his covered cock.

He looked at her on the eyes again before repeating the word  _‘perfect’_ before lowering his face towards her chest, leaving a few wet kisses on the valley between her breasts, his hands roaming her back softly making her arch towards him. Castiel smiled against her skin, leaving a last kiss in the middle of her chest before moving her mouth towards one hardened nipple, blowing air on the skin to see if he could get a reaction from that.

His smile widened when she let out a soft moan, encoring him to take the nipple inside of his mouth, making her moan loudly this time as he sucked it softly, lapping the skin wet skin with his tongue

“Castiel…” she breathed out, feeling every tug of her nipple going straight to her core, making her walls clench in need

“Mmm” he hummed against her flesh, making her eyes roll back in pleasure as the vibration hit her. Y/N mewled; running her fingers through his hair and tugging his head towards her other nipple, making Castiel letting go of her with a loud  _‘pop’_  before giving the other the same treatment.

Once he was done with her breasts his lips returned towards hers, kissing her deeply as his hands roamed her ass, groping her cheeks softly making her moan against his lips.

“Castiel, please” she breathed out against the angel’s lips, and that was everything Castiel needed before turning her around and let her fall softly on the bed, he waved his hand to get rid of his clothes before hovering her, his hot skin pressed deliciously against hers

She quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, meaning as she felt his hardened length rubbing against her wet folds. Castiel kissed her once more, before grabbing his cock and position it against her wanting entrance

“Will you let me have you?” he asked, making her smile brightly

“You already do” she whispered and now was his turn to smile

Castiel began thrusting his hips, letting his cock enter her slowly, both of the moaning at the feeling, he kept thrusting until he was fully inside of her, stopping to let her adjust to his size. His hands roamed the sides of her body, enjoying the feeling of her curves against his palm and her hot walls around his cock. She cupped his face again and brought his lips towards hers, kissing him sloppy until she felt it was time to let him move.

Y/N nodded, letting him know it was okay for him to move. He started pulling out of her, loving the little gasps that escaped from her mouth as he began to thrust into her again. Her fingers grabbed his shoulders as she moaned loudly, feeling the tip of his cock hitting the spot within her that made her see white.

Castiel noticed, and he grabbed her legs, unwrapping them from his waist and lifting them just enough to make his cock hit the same spot every time his cock entered her.  

“Castiel” she moaned loudly when he hit the spot over and over again, her walls clenching around his cock, dragging loud grunts from the back of his throat as he felt his orgasm approaching him

Y/N used her hands to press his lower back, making his pelvis rub against her swollen clit with each one of his thrust. Castiel’s lips crashed against hers once more, kissing her hard as they both felt ready to explode.

“Y/N…” Castiel moaned as he felt her walls clenching around him, her hot cum coating his cock as she arched her back and yelled his name over and over again, he felt himself twitch inside of her before hastily join her in the orgasmic bliss, shooting his hot side deep inside of her, both looking at each other with clouded eyes and open mouths.

Castiel kept thrusting into her, softly just to get as much of her orgasm as he could before pulling his soft cock out of her, falling on the free spot on the bed. He smiled as Y/N rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him

“That was…” she started but lost her words as she looked up to him

“Perfect” he smiled down, dropping a little kiss on her nose

“Perfect”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: FYI April had happen on this so Castiel wasn’t a virgin!**
> 
> **Also, I don’t know if this will be the last part because my brain started thinking about more drama but I just wanted a happy ending . Maybe if I do a sequel of the whole thing, who knows.**


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